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Second Guessing

I would say that one of my greatest weaknesses is indecision and second guessing myself. I second guessed publishing last night’s post (as I always do when things get a little more personal) but now I know without a doubt that it was the right thing to do. Just through that one post I was able to connect with several friends and readers and it created an open forum for people to share things they needed to talk about. I want that for this blog. I want us to support each other and share both struggles and triumphs.

Let’s face it. Despite what your Facebook feed and Google Reader might suggest, life is not all babies, bowls of oatmeal, weddings, hardcore workouts and cupcakes. It’s a little more complicated than that. One of my favorite quotes ever is, “You can’t compare your life to everyone else’s highlight reel.” I could go on for days. We’ll talk about that later.

Another thing I second guessed was this color I painted my living room. It was Benjamin Moore’s Oyster Shell. In everyone else’s rooms, it seemed to be pale gray with a hint of blue. In my room it screamed baby boy nursery. I tried to live with it for three weeks and finally bit the bullet and paid to have it repainted and finally made my decision on the paint colors for the rest of the house. I’m glad I second guessed it and took my time with the other decisions because now I am so excited about the paint rather than it being a source of stress. Going home is so exciting because I can’t wait to see the progress.

There was NO second guessing adding this to my grocery cart. Eggnog season is my favorite (I’ve loved the stuff since childhood) and I love that they now make SilkNog. It’s the perfect addition to my oatmeal and overnight oats.

I blogged about Silk Nog last year with a recipe for holiday inspired oats. Check it out.

Another thing one never second guesses? Taco night. Sunday night tacos are pretty much an amazing way to end the weekend.

And finally, the winner of the Social Dress Shop $75 gift card giveaway is comment #123 from Katie at She Rocks Fitness.

Are you a second guesser? What do you second guess? What do you NOT second guess?

{ 33 comments… add one }
  • Amelia November 26, 2012, 9:16 pm

    Wow, I never thought of adding silk eggnog to oats. I’m going to have to pick some up this weekend! Time to transition from pumpkin to eggnog!

    I’m definitely a second guesser. I think that is just the type A personality nature of mine.

  • Lee November 26, 2012, 9:24 pm

    I painted my bathroom purple and hated it and eventually painted in yellow instead. If you don’t like the color, it’s not going to grow on you, I think.

    I just posted a very personal post that I second guessed posting. I totally understand the feeling. I’m still second guessing it, but you’re totally right about not comparing your life to someone else’s highlight reel. I love that.

  • Maddie November 26, 2012, 9:36 pm

    I heart you. miss you tons, my sweet friend. Hoping for an early January visit… xoxo

  • Kerry @ Totes My Oats November 26, 2012, 9:37 pm

    I always second guess when trying to find a place to eat out. I never second guess on clothes I pick out, though!

  • Brittney @ Brittney Breathing November 26, 2012, 9:49 pm

    I almost always second guess myself, especially when it comes to bigger life decisions. I recently accepted a new job (start next Monday!) and I know deep down that it was the best decision to make…but I second guess myself. Was this the right decision? Will I like it? Will it help me in the future? Will I miss my old job?
    And on and on and on. I try to be confident in my decisions but still struggle with second guessing myself often. You’re not alone!

  • Alli November 26, 2012, 9:53 pm

    Silknogg in overnight oats and oatmeal?! That is genius!! Thanks for the idea 🙂

  • Amy November 26, 2012, 10:50 pm

    I’ve been looking at a chair from Pottery Barn for over a year and finally ordered it last week-and promptly regretted it! I hear you on the facebook, google reader-I finally deactivated my facebook account because I just couldn’t see one more person’s ultrasound or homemade cupcakes! Hang in there, and enjoy that egg nog-I may have to get some (and I have a coupon for silk-double score!)

  • Elizabeth November 26, 2012, 11:42 pm

    Holy crap, that quote. Thank you. I don’t Facebook because I know myself and it would be exhausting for me because I would want to paint the perfect picture, etc but I do read tons of healthy living blogs and MY GOODNESS if it doesn’t start to feel like everyone has it figured out but me. It’s a confusing thing as a reader. In my head, I know that bloggers are real and have problems (esp when they reference them), and I know it’s totally a blogger’s business what they choose to share on her blog. If I had a blog and knew my Grammy and kids were going to read it (and myself looking back in 50 years), I’d probably think I should memorialize the good stuff. But, at the same time, when it’s pic after pic and paragraph after cheery paragraph about the good times, it can be easy as a reader to think the blogger has a “perfect life.” I start to wonder what the point is of the whole little reader/writer cycle. As much as I understand the human drive to paint the perfect picture (and have agonizing fun viewing it), it doesn’t actually serve anyone and it gets old fast.

    I could go on but I won’t. I actually don’t mean any of this specifically about you; I think your recent honesty has been refreshing. You’ve been raw about it – not in a revealing way but also not just lip service.

  • Lisa November 26, 2012, 11:48 pm

    I second guess almost every decision I make..whether it be the simplest thing or the most complicated. I’m trying to reevaluate this situation and make better choices with my thoughts. I also wanted to say your last post was great, I find it refreshing when bloggers open up more. It shows a more realistic side and it’s nice to get those things out sometime. No one is all rainbows and butterflies.

  • Mary November 26, 2012, 11:54 pm

    Hi Jen! I do not often comment, although I have been a reader for a while now. Your last few posts have really touched me and I just wanted to let you know why. I appreciate your honesty and your truthfulness about life’s struggles. It was your honesty that inspired me to start running, which did not come easily for me, I second guessed that quite a lot when I started out. But now I can proudly say that I have just run my third half marathon.

    I am very grateful for my running, now especially, as it is the only thing that has gotten me through this last year, and this holiday season. Last December my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and he passed away on August 28th. He and I were very close and I was his caretaker through his illness. I have been having a hard time looking at Facebook and my google reader because everyone is so happy and enjoying the holidays with their families and all I want to do is crawl in a corner and cry. And although I am grateful for what I do have, I miss my father more than words can say. So please know that I am very sorry for the struggles that you are going through, but you are not alone and I am so glad that you did write yesterdays post. I think one of the best things about blogging is the support it provides for both the reader and the writer! My plan to make it through this season is to run, snuggle with my puppy, and drink my fair share of eggnog. We are here for you Jen!

  • Sunnie@moderngirlnutrition November 27, 2012, 12:07 am

    Great post! I have been wondering is that eggnog is any good…will have to try it out:) Making eggnog oatmeal is such a good idea!:)

  • Paige @ The Balancing Act November 27, 2012, 12:11 am

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for the quotes about being real vs. being perfect and about comparing your life to everyone else’s highlight reel. This is exactly what I needed to hear today, as I scroll through my Facebook newsfeed and see pics of my friends studying abroad, getting married/engaged, etc, while I sit and fight back tears.

    As far as second guessing, I usually think twice about how much I let down my walls and open up to people who are close to me since I’m a very guarded person. Usually, though, I’m so relieved when I do.

    On a lighter note, I’ll have to look for Silk Nog at my grocery store…Those holiday oats look fantastic!

  • Meghan November 27, 2012, 12:12 am

    I don’t think I’ve ever commented, but I have been loving your blog more than usual lately. It’s so refreshing to read a blog from someone who seems like a “real” person. We all have struggles and hard days…it just seems that other writers hide behind a veil of “perfect family…perfect house…perfect husband…perfect life”, and the rest of us are just over here trying to get through the day without breaking down. I have always been impressed by the amount of work you take on. Thank you for being so honest and open Jen.

  • Emily November 27, 2012, 12:41 am

    “You can’t compare your life to everyone else’s highlight reel”…. REVELATION. Seriously, that really just sums it up. I would love to hear more of your thoughts on this, because I think it’s a daily struggle for a lot of people. I mean, I look at you and think, “Ugh, perfect everything, why do I even bother.” And logically, I know it’s ridiculous, but I can’t help it. It’s sick!

  • Kelly November 27, 2012, 12:53 am

    You’re so sweet and so right! And so brave to put it out there. Hang in there!

  • Tara Deal November 27, 2012, 5:00 am

    I love the holiday silk!! Yum!! 🙂 I am also one to second guess so I completely understand. Hope you holiday season is off to a good start!!

  • Amy November 27, 2012, 5:59 am

    It is so refreshing to read a blog where not everything is pictured as perfect. Thank you so much for these posts that show us true life instead of “this is what I want you to see.” I would love to hear more of your thoughts on this.

    I second guess EVERYTHING. I overthink everything, too.

    Love love love your blog 🙂

  • Courtney November 27, 2012, 6:39 am

    I recently had a similar painting issue with my dining room. We were going for dove grey and chose a color called pumice from Restoration Hardware, but it just looked baby blue in our dining room. Went through 4 other colors before setting on Benjamin Moore’s smoke ember. Of course the paint chip looked to me like it would be way too grey, but once we got it up on the walls is was perfect. Paint can be tricky that way (or rather light, I guess).

  • Carrie @ Fitness and Frozen Grapes November 27, 2012, 6:46 am

    Once I make a decision I’m fine, but before I definitely decide, I’m a very back-and-forth person–just want to weigh each option and then make up my mind. When the going gets tough, though, I’ll sometimes reconsider my choice and even imagine how things would be different if I went with the other option. I try not to do that often because thinking about what “would’ve, should’ve, could’ve” isn’t productive at all.

  • erin November 27, 2012, 8:04 am

    It’s exhausting to compare yourself to the edited life, which is what a lot of blogs feel like to me. Your honesty is so refreshing, Jen.

    Lately, I second guess a lot because I’m not listening to my gut, which very rarely steers me in the wrong direction. When I take better care of myself, I don’t really second guess things. But even what to eat for lunch is a big ol’ thought process for me lately!

  • Diane M November 27, 2012, 8:36 am

    I love you & value your friendship more than words can describe!!


  • Naomi November 27, 2012, 10:48 am

    I’m a fairly new reader and have enjoyed reading your posts. I love the quote you shared – “You can’t compare your life to everyone else’s highlight reel.” – it’s so true! Thanks for sharing it!

  • Rachel@Running Daze November 27, 2012, 3:36 pm

    I made your egg nog oats last year and they were awesome! I’m going to have to make them again soon. Thanks for the reminder!

  • She Rocks Fitness November 27, 2012, 6:15 pm

    OMG I cannot believe I won the GIVEAWAY! This totally made my Tuesday after a long morning of clients a workout that kicked my butt, and my car battery dying. HA! THANK YOU so much! xoxo

  • Michelle November 27, 2012, 9:29 pm

    I just want to echo what many other people are saying. It is refreshing to hear the kind of honesty you’ve been putting out there on this blog recently. It touches me on a personal level more than if you just always posted the “highlight reel” because I feel like I can relate to you! I also don’t comment very often, but I thought I would just to let you know how much your honesty means to this reader.

  • Ellie Lawrence November 27, 2012, 11:07 pm

    I’m Loving “I will hold myself to a standard of GRACE, not perfection

  • Meaghan November 28, 2012, 10:36 am

    LOVE the new pic!! So festive and you are so talented. I wish I could do that… maybe some day.

  • Katherine November 28, 2012, 11:19 am

    Love the room color!

    Your new header is totally awesome 🙂


  • Leigh November 28, 2012, 11:22 am

    You’ve probably already seen this floating around Facebook, but a pretty great story of how this guy overcame some serious second guessing. Love that it started with yoga and led to running 🙂 https://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?v=535184355831

    Happy Wednesday!

  • pamela November 28, 2012, 10:35 pm

    So glad you followed your heart! I love your blogs and your great big heart. Can’t wait to see all the paint photos. xoxo

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