I hope you’re having a restful and relaxing Sunday. I’m trying to enjoy a few hours of quiet around the house before I go over to the studio to lead a section of our 200-hour teacher training and teach a class.

I just made a pot of French press coffee and poured my first cup. I’ve got some bacon cooking in the oven and blueberry pancakes are sounding like a good brunch option this morning. I also just ate a few handfuls of Trader Joe’s peanut butter filled pretzels to hold me over until brunch. It is hard for me not to eat breakfast when I first wake up. I am programmed that way!

I was going to share recent eats this morning but I have a few other things on my mind/heart that I want to talk about so I’ll postpone the eats until later in the week. <3

Let’s have a coffee chat instead.

If we were having coffee this morning, I would be honest about my overly-ambitious to-do list for last week…

Remember that weekly planning post I shared last Sunday? Well, it was a tad overly-ambitious and I feel it my duty to report back to you that I accomplished approximately 60-ish% of the things I outlined. I wanted to tell you that because while having a plan can be helpful, I also think it’s important to be flexible and to give yourself a lot of grace when you’re doing the best you can. I did some things well but a few things are getting pushed to this week and that’s a-okay.

When I have a lot on my plate, I find these types of lists really helpful for keeping me focused and on-track but I try not to let them add additional stress. I am a chronic over-estimator when it comes to how much I can get done in a certain amount of time and it’s something I’m really working to get a better handle on!

If we were having coffee this morning, I would share that relationships are hard. 

I don’t even know how to begin this conversation with you because it’s all so multi-layered and complicated but I also think you guys get that life is a little (a lot?) messy sometimes and not so black and white.

If you’ve been reading for any length of time, I’m sure that you’ve noticed that something has been off. Since the new year, Tanner and I have been dealing with some issues in our relationship. We have spent a period of time separated and have done a lot of talking and processing. To say that it’s been incredibly tough is an understatement. Relationship struggles are never easy and adding in a pregnancy takes it to a whole new level of both consideration and emotion.

Blogging is so hard because on the one hand, it’s so personal…but on the other, you still have a personal life…if that makes any sense at all? I am someone who needs time to process things and haven’t felt that I’ve been in a place to share about this before now. This is mostly due to how complex the situation is and how much there has been to sort through.

I still don’t have it figured out but I also have no desire to write a highlight-reel style blog so I do want to be honest with you about both the ups and downs of my life. This has been a huge down and never how I dreamed that I’d spend the months before my child’s birth.

To be honest, I am grateful that we are working through this before the baby comes but it hasn’t made for an easy couple of months during a time of life that is already so layered with anxiety and unknowns.

At this point, we are committed to coming together to welcome our son into the world in the most loving way possible as we continue to evaluate the best course forward for the two of us. I would really appreciate your love, support and prayers.

If we were having coffee this morning, I would tell you that I’m so looking forward to “springing forward” and the longer days.

After a tough few months, I am really looking forward to the arrival of spring and more daylight hours. The time changes next weekend! I feel so much connection with the spring season this year and the rebirth and renewal it brings with it. I love this picture I took yesterday where the trees are still barren but the Japanese Maple is in full bloom. It reminds me that even after dark, cold and dormant periods, that beauty comes again.

I have had countless people tell me about the way that my heart will change once baby boy is here and how I’ll experience love in a whole new way. I am eagerly awaiting meeting him and I think all the time about what he’s going to be like. I am grateful to be due in May at a time of year where cold and flu season isn’t as much of a concern and we’ll be able to get out and enjoy lots of nice weather and walking.

If we were having coffee this morning, I’d wrap it up with a hug and a thank you.

And with that, we’d probably both be ready to wrap up this coffee date. It was a heavy one…but life just is heavy sometimes. I’m so fortunate to have so many amazing people in my life who are willing and ready to get real and talk about heavy things with me. I appreciate the space that you guys hold for me to do that here and I sincerely hope that it also creates the space for you to feel not so alone in your own life and struggles. We are all doing the best we can. <3

So much love and so many thanks,
Jen