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A Bittersweet Weekend

I’m getting really good at these late Monday night weekend recaps but today has been a catch up day with work for the studio.

It feels a little weird to write a weekend recap after such a sad and emotional weekend but it also feels weird to only share the highlights and good moments of my life with you guys. I taught yoga on Sunday afternoon after I got home from Florida. I was super emotional when I got home but also looking forward to seeing my students and teaching.

As I started class I told my students, “this is where I am right now,” and proceeded to give them a high-level overview of the course of events this summer/fall and that I’d just returned home from a funeral. While I was really sad, I also felt really grateful for so many things in my life (teaching and the studio being one of them) so I was able to hold my sadness and gratitude in paradox.

I told my students that I felt like they come to my classes because I don’t bullshit them. I show up and teach from where I am that day. And that’s how I want them to show up and practice. We need to love it all and accept it all because we all go through it.

I hope you feel like that in this space too.

Sometimes I start to feel guilty for how much I’ve shared about loss and grief and my feelings this fall but then I stop myself and I decide to keep pressing forward with opening up and sharing.

I hope you can do that for yourself too. If it feels at times overwhelming or impossible or really scary, I can completely relate but keep trying.

About that weekend…here are some photos from it.

I flew on Allegiant for the first time. It’s a low-cost airline with a surprising number of routes all over the country. I discovered last year through the Charlotte Agenda that Allegiant offers several direct flights to Florida from the Concord Regional Airport, just north of Charlotte. One of those was to St. Pete/Clearwater so I decided to give it a go since the Allegiant flight was $188 round trip and American Airlines was over $500. My Allegiant flight would have been even cheaper had I not paid to choose my seats.

I might write a more in-depth review about Allegiant later because I had so many hesitations but a really positive experience.

I headed straight to Clearwater Beach upon arrival in Clearwater/St. Pete on Thursday. I needed to see the ocean.

It was a very gray day so the beach was empty but I was impressed by the wide beaches and white sand. I spent the rest of the day working, taking a yoga class and having dinner with my parents.

Friday passed in a blur of a bit of computer work in the morning followed by an afternoon of family time. We arrived back at the hotel just in time for me to catch my first OrangeTheory class before dinner with my parents.

We walked over to the cutest Thai restaurant down the street from our hotel for dinner.

We shared these steamed pork dumplings.

I convinced my mom that we should share a dinner entree and thank goodness we did! We ordered this amazing panang curry that came with chicken, shrimp and all sorts of mixed veggies with jasmine rice and it was incredible. I couldn’t stop eating it and we came so close to finishing this platter. I love Thai food so much, especially in authentic, sweet places like this.

I set my alarm early with plans to run on Saturday before the memorial service. Instead I slept and ate this pieced together hotel breakfast. I think I was just exhausted because I slept so well all three nights I was in Tampa. Soundly and late.

I postponed my run until mid-afternoon after the service and lunch with family. I was feeling so much anxiety and the run really helped me work through that energy. I ran down to a nature preserve and seeing these gorgeous trees and the water was so grounding.

I got showered and re-dressed in under 20 minutes for part two of our day. We chartered a boat at sunset to say goodbye to my uncle.

I can’t even explain to you the feelings and emotions but I was so grateful to be there beside my mom for it.

The sunset was absolutely perfect and we were able to watch the sun dip down into the horizon before the burial at sea.

After disembarking from the boat, we walked over to a nearby restaurant that was a favorite of my uncle for dinner. I had a grilled grouper sandwich and kettle chips while we shared conversation and memories.

I said goodbye to my parents on Sunday morning as they had to drive home early to pick up their pups from the kennel. I had some time to spend so I went for a quick run to clear my head and heart before packing up and heading out.

I swung by Whole Foods for a late breakfast and was bummed to find they didn’t have a breakfast bar but had a muffin, green smoothie and coffee to hold me over until I got to Charlotte.

A quick flight and a couple of crossword puzzles later and I was back home.

And I am so freaking happy to be here. I’ve been hugging my girls and my love extra tight and talking to my family a lot. Times like this really snap you back into the reality of what’s important in these short lives of ours.

So much love to all of you, no matter where you are right now.

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