I have been dreaming of the day that I could sit down and write this blog post for a long time and I’m still in disbelief and awe that the time is finally now.
I’m so thrilled to share with you that I am pregnant and we are expecting a baby on (or around…you know how these things go!) May 8, 2018.
Before I share more details about the pregnancy I want to tell you more about my journey of getting here.
I spent most of my 20s unsure of whether I wanted to parent. I think that deep down in my heart, I knew it was my truth but I was in no way ready to join the ranks of many of my high school friends and sorority sisters who seemed to be announcing pregnancies at an alarming (to me!) rate. I was super happy for them but I knew I just wasn’t there yet.
For me personally, my 20s were more focused on getting to know and understand myself on a deeper level and pursuing dreams, desires and career goals. I think that sometimes as a woman, it’s easy to feel selfish in doing that but looking back I know it was 100% the right thing for me at the time.
Sometime in my early 30s, it was like a switch went off…I just knew I was ready and I knew without a doubt that I wanted a family of my own. So of course after years of watching all of my friends, students and social media acquaintances announce pregnancies and have babies, I expected that it would “just happen” for us.
And it didn’t. First it was six months and no baby. I was okay because my doctor kept reassuring me that it was normal for it to take six months to a year to conceive. I was tracking my cycles through an app and thought we were getting it right and at this time I started using an ovulation tracker as well.
Six more months went by and we were a year in with no positive pregnancy test. I was frustrated because my cycles were regular, I was ovulating and I didn’t understand why it wasn’t happening. It was definitely an emotional roller coaster and hard because there were very few people I could talk to about it. Every month when I got my cycle I would give myself the day to feel really sad and cry, the horrible cramps right at the onset of my cycle didn’t help, and then I’d turn it around and try to be positive about the next chance.
My doctor is awesome and he was the best mix of taking action while still honoring my wishes to try to do things as naturally as possible. At the one year mark, we agreed that I would keep trying naturally for another six months before he wrote us a referral to the fertility clinic.
During this time I went through some more in-depth testing, as did Tanner, and we were actually scheduled for a minor surgery that would help our chances to get pregnant. We were told that it might be hard for us to conceive without this surgery. We were also planning a quick getaway to the Caribbean post-surgery to kind of lift our spirits. Then, two weeks before the surgery, I discovered I was pregnant. To say we were shocked and surprised is an understatement.
I have so much more to tell you about conceiving, the first trimester, how I’ve been feeling emotionally and physically, my hopes for pregnancy and childbirth and my excitement and fears over being parents but all that will come later.
For now, we’re over the moon to share our pregnancy news. I’m 14 weeks today and finally officially in the second trimester. (Depending on who you ask! Is is 13 or 14 weeks, who knows!?) I’ve had two ultrasounds so far and all looks good. I had my first “official” OB appointment today and we got to hear baby’s heartbeat at 150 BPM. It’s such an incredible thing to hear.
I am holding all of you who have struggled and are struggling with infertility and loss in my heart as I write this.
Thank you for all of your love and support over the last eight years and I’m so happy to bring you along for this new adventure.
All photos thanks to Bazemore Studios.