I am writing today with a broken heart.

I took Sullie into the vet on Friday because she was refusing food and acting lethargic. I was praying it was just the arrival of hot and humid weather. It was cancer.

I have been dreading this day for years. Cancer is very common in golden retrievers (almost 60% of goldens die from cancer) and so far we had been able to escape it. We had a scare a few years ago but after surgery to have some tumors removed, all was okay.

Sadly, this time it is not okay. She has hemangiosarcoma which is an aggressive, rapidly spreading cancer. X-rays showed that she has a lot of it in her chest and there is also something going on in her abdomen. She had a very high liver count and was sensitive to palpitations of her belly.

At this point, there is nothing that can be done and I am struggling with when to put her down. I am trying to make the choice that is the most fair and peaceful for Sullie. I asked the vet in the office on Friday if it was selfish for me to bring her home this weekend and she assured me that she would make the same decision if she was in my shoes and encouraged me to bring her home, love on her and spoil her.

So that’s exactly what I’ve been doing and I’m so, so glad that I did.

I spoke with the vet who has been her doctor for 10 years on Saturday morning (she wasn’t there on Friday) and we had a tearful conversation about what is best for Sullie. It’s so hard because she is eating now, drinking, going outside, coming upstairs at night to sleep with us, etc.

I tentatively scheduled having our vet come and put her down at my house on Monday afternoon but I’m having a hard time with this given that she has had such a good weekend and doesn’t seem to be in pain. I will talk with her doctor again tomorrow morning and continue to monitor her.

For now, I’ll just keep giving her all the cuddles and cooking her all the delicious food. She’s been gobbling it up! 🙂

These are the posts that break my heart to write but it’s a very real part of life and being a pet owner. I can’t even begin to get into what Sullie means to me. She is my angel, my rock and my special girl. We’ve been together for almost 13 years and I am so grateful for every single one of those days. I fully realize how blessed I am to have had her with me for so long. I want her remaining time to be so full of love and peace.

Thank you for all of the love and support that you all have extended to me on Instagram. Your messages have brought me so much comfort and happiness that my Sullie girl is so well loved.

I will keep you posted, of course.

Love,
Jen