Hey there. I want to get straight to it today. I have two things on my heart that I want to share with you.
First, I changed my name.
If you’re newer to the blog, I got married in my early 20s to my college sweetheart. We ultimately ended up going separate ways but I still hold a tremendous amount of respect for him and gratitude for the time that we spent together. He is a super great guy. I moved to Charlotte with him back in 2009 and and everyone in Charlotte and in the online/blog world has always known me by my married name.
When we divorced, I was dealing with so many emotions and had so much to figure out. Changing my name, given my profession and how I was known, seemed complex. I was also holding so much guilt and shame inside around being divorced at 30 and I didn’t want to talk about in online or feel like I had to explain it to anyone here in Charlotte.
Over the last couple of years, I have had a growing urge to change my name back to my maiden name. The best way for me to describe it is that every time I wrote my name or said it or heard someone else say it, it just didn’t feel true or right or authentic to me. After my brother’s death in September, my desire to change my name back became even stronger because I have come to this realization in my 30s that family is the most important thing.
My first inclination was to keep this private but I am done with the guilt and the shame of having a family member who struggled with mental illness/addiction and I am done with the guilt and shame of my divorce. My new way of being is to stand in my authenticity and truth. Like I’ve said to you many times, I think it’s the only way we can all connect and be real with each other.
Last Monday I went to the courthouse, completed the paperwork required and filed it with the clerk. It was extremely emotional but also extremely empowering.
You can now know me as Jennifer Marie Eddins. My middle name is from my grandmother (Anna Marie) and I’m so proud to call myself an Eddins again. And if you’re wondering how Tanner has felt about this, he’s been so supportive and encouraging. He wants me to have whatever name feels right to me.
I changed all of my social media handles to jen_pbrunner and you’ll notice my new (old) name in my blog header. I’m keeping a double name on Facebook and on our yoga schedule for the next month and then I’ll drop DeCurtins completely.
Big exhale here. It feels really good to get that out.
Second, I quit my second Whole30 on day 27.
If I had to pick one word to describe January it would be WORK. Tanner and I barely came up for air the whole month as January was consuming and busy as business owners in the fitness industry in all the best ways. We started our February feeling a little exhausted and a little disconnected. We made plans to have our first date night of 2017 on Saturday night and went to our favorite restaurant, Stagioni.
I decided that my second Whole30 journey was complete. I value my relationship and quality time enjoying not just amazing food but deep conversation more than the ability to say that I made it to day 30. While I deeply respect the Whole30 and have been leading over 700 people on their Whole30 journeys, I know that this was right for me.
We shared an amazing charcuterie plate to start.
Along with the fish special which was red snapper over beet risotto with arugula salad, roasted broccoli and beet chips.
And the most amazing herb roasted potatoes and a bottle of wine.
More than anything, it’s my hope that this post creates the space for you to start to listen to the inner voice that guides you to do what’s right for you. To love yourself and not judge yourself. To break the rules sometimes. To celebrate your authenticity and your truth.
All of my love. Thank you for reading.
xo,
Jen
