Sorry for the silence for the last couple of days but it’s been an off week. I’m just not feeling great. I’m feeling emotional and anxious, I am questioning a lot of things and I’m sad in general about some situations. It’s a daunting task to write a blog post when you don’t really have a lot of upbeat and happy things to share. I know everyone is dealing with their own crap so I want you to feel good when you come read my blog. I don’t want it to be a stream of sadness and complaining. But I also want you to know that I am a real human who experiences up and down times. I am not perfect.
Some of the best advice I have ever received was from fellow yoga teacher Shanna Small who told me that you have to teach from where you are. People see straight through faking it. People connect with real. Even when real isn’t the version of yourself you want to put out there, it’s truly best to be authentic. So today I taught my yoga class while fighting back tears and I will now stop avoiding blogging and apply Shanna’s advice to writing this post.
I love this quote from the Velveteen Rabbit. One of the things I struggle with most is accepting my own imperfection. I fully understand that I can not be everything that everyone needs and expects me to be but it’s really hard to put that into practice. I think that I set the bar a little too high for myself and have unrealistic expectations and ideas of what it is I think I should be. Over the past couple of years I have slowly been able to loosen my grip on this and I fully own up to the absolute fact that I am flawed. I am not perfect and it is okay for people to see real.
Being real also means letting go. When you are real it is inevitable that some things in your life will end – situations, scenarios, friendships, relationships. We want to hold on to what something was or should be for as long as possible. While that feels safe, it doesn’t serve us one bit. These endings are usually not easy but it’s essential to realize that you will thrive when you let it go and focus on people who love you unconditionally and when you focus on the things in your life that allow you grow and shine. It’s amazing how doors open and things happen when you take the leap and just let go.
Writing Peanut Butter Runner has been a great therapy for me. Even though I don’t share details on everything that’s going on in my life and the deepest corners of my soul, it’s still an amazing outlet to share my ups and downs with you. I have received countless e-mails and comments from you guys sharing with me how you have struggled, how you have let go and how you have emerged stronger and brighter on the other side. I need to create a folder in my inbox with some of these e-mails that I can go and read on days like this. 😉
Obviously, everything that I have written about is easier said than done. Being real is a daily practice and I struggle with it so much. It means you have to get to know yourself and really seek out your truth. What is it that makes you happiest? What is it that brings you a sense of peace and fulfillment deep in the center of your belly? What makes you feel like you are going to explode with happiness and joy? These aren’t easy questions to answer and the answers might change over time but you must ask them of yourself on a regular basis.
Well, I edited a lot of food pictures and jewelry pictures for this post but it seems you’ll just be getting the above. I am in need of a hot shower, a good dinner and disconnecting.
Talk to me about being real. Can you let go of the perfect thing? Can you let go in general?