I said this in yesterday’s post but THANK YOU for your support and encouragement regarding my decision. I am glad that I shared my struggle on the blog because once the responses started rolling in, it was clear to me which path to take. The outside perspective was the push I needed to follow my heart.
“My answers to big decisions are made clear to me in the early morning hours, just when I wake up. When I’m tired and sleepy, and my mind seems to be gravitating towards a certain option, I know that *that option* is the one my heart desires.”
At 11:30 on Friday morning, I emailed my yoga teacher and committed to teacher training. The reality of my decision sunk in over the weekend and I know it was the right one.
I find, more often than not, that I’m overthinking it. You probably already know exactly what to do.
My yoga studio is offering a teacher training that begins in January. As soon as it was announced, I was interested but pushed it out of my mind and told myself I wasn’t ready and it wasn’t a good time. The weeks ticked by and every time I heard something about the training, I felt a pull in my heart. One morning while I was practicing ashtanga, my teacher asked me what was holding me back from teacher training. After practice that morning, I couldn’t stop thinking about it and proceeded to drive myself crazy for the next couple of weeks. I talked to Brandon, my mom and Sarah (poor Sarah, I owe her a lifetime of favors for her patience and daily check-ins) about it and weighed all of the pros and cons until finally issuing the plea on my blog for advice.
“Think hard, act fast!” If I ask my mom for advice on a big decision, she will say to me- “you already know what to do.”
I am sure some of you were expecting more earth-shattering news but this is a huge leap of faith for my practice and my future. It also creates a significant strain on resources and time.
“Even if it’s the scarier decision, maybe against your realistic side, sometimes great decisions take big leaps of faith. Change is always a little scary!”
Yoga teacher training is a 200 hour certification and is not exactly budget friendly. It is similar to taking a college course…but in yoga. The training begins in January and goes through April. It is structured in weekends where we meet Friday evening and all day Saturday and Sunday. We have three weekends in January, two in February and March and one in April. When we are not in class, we have reading and papers as well as maintaining a personal practice and observing classes.
“My best advice is to ask yourself: if not now, then when? We often tend to wait for the “perfect” moment to do something, as if there’s really a perfect moment.”
I am concerned about the time commitment. I already feel like every minute of my life is scheduled and this will require a lot of time away from home. I will have to give some things up while I am going through training but I know it will be worth it in the end. Even though now doesn’t feel like the perfect time, it is the right time. Life will only continue to get crazier and busier and I don’t want to regret not doing this when I had the chance.
“For me, it always comes down to whether my heart will be fuller and whether this decision will push me to become the person I am meant to be. I often shy away from that because sometimes the status quo seems easier. It usually means finding a new balance, but it has always been worth it in the end.”
Completing this training will have a couple of big benefits for me. First, I am beyond excited about the opportunity to deepen my practice, study yoga and share my knowledge with others. Second, it will move me closer to achieving some long-term goals I have set for myself.
Obviously, I will not be training for any spring races. Peanut Butter Runner is going to become Peanut Butter Yogi for a few months but I hope you will stay with me through this. If you’d have told me 18 months ago when I started practicing yoga as a means to deal with running injuries that I would end up wanting to get certified to teach, I would have laughed at you. Things changed. The more I struggled through it (yoga did not come easy for me); the more I longed to be on my mat. Eventually I found myself practicing almost every day and completely, 100% in love. Yoga has improved my life in immeasurable ways – physically and emotionally. I am extremely grateful for my practice.
I have to admit that I am nervous and more than a little scared about this next step but I am totally at peace with my decision and ready for the journey.
“There will never be a “perfect time” so you should always choose what is going to make your heart full and put your mind at peace right now, no matter how scary it might seem.”