I wasn’t planning on practicing today. I started my day at 6 a.m. teaching yoga, trained a client at Metro after and then had my butt glued to my office chair for eight hours. I was driving back to the gym to train a client at 6 p.m. when I got a text from her that she needed to late cancel due to an emergency.
I immediately redirected the car and decided to take a 6 p.m. yoga class instead to help keep up with my 62 day yoga challenge.
For the last few months I have tirelessly been working handstand to crow pose. In every single class that I have taken I have practiced it countless times. I get so close…my knees hit my triceps…and then I lose it. It’s been incredibly frustrating but also amazingly exhilarating to be pushed and challenged by my practice. I maintained faith that with time, it would come. As guruji says, “practice…all is coming.”
TONIGHT IT CAME!
I kicked up into my third or fourth attempt of handstand to crow halfway through class, lowered down and found myself in crow. I held crow and said out loud, “I did it. I did it!” I was terrified to try again thinking maybe it was a fluke but I did it once more in class and two times after.
A few months ago, a fellow teacher shared with me a talk given by Kino MacGregor about being stronger. “Be stronger” has become a MANTRA in my practice. As Kino says, not just physically strong but strong enough to believe in myself.
“They want me to be strong enough to believe in myself…However big my mission is in life, is how strong I need to be…Even if I’m the only one who believes in this I will stand for this truth and I will work for it no matter how long it takes. For me that is strength.”
Whether or not you are a yogi, I think Kino’s message of being stronger is amazing. I encourage you to watch Kino’s talk on Being Stronger. It’s a little over 4 minutes long and totally worth your time. I have listened to it at least 20 times and it lights me up every time.
I need to be strong on and off my mat. Strong enough to believe I am not only capable of but also worthy of what I want to achieve. I need to love myself and believe in myself first in order to become strong enough.
The road to handstand to crow was not easy. Tonight was probably my 300th+ attempt at the pose but I knew it would come. When I was ready. Tonight I walked into that classroom and it was an unexpected gift to have the time to practice. And I was surprised by finally being strong enough inside and out to make it happen.
DON’T GIVE UP! You can have what you dream of. You ARE strong, you ARE worthy…you just have to truly believe. I pictured this happening in my head a million times before it came true. Before I really believed that I was THAT yogi who could do it. We are our own worst critics and enemies. STOP! And believe. Be stronger.