I woke up this morning feeling kind of blah. I got on the computer and started working on a new playlist for my Sunday yoga church class. I was feeling a more chill and relaxed playlist and that came together nicely.
The message was another story. I was at a loss for words. My heart was full but I didn’t know how to share what was weighing on it. I told myself I would take a pass and just not have a message this morning…I can’t tell you the last time I went into my Sunday class without a message.
And then five minutes before I had to leave to teach I picked up Brene Brown’s book The Gifts of Imperfection. Wouldn’t you know that the first page I turned to expressed exactly what I couldn’t find words for.
“The greatest challenge for most of us is believing that we are worthy now, right this minute. Worthiness doesn’t have prerequisites. So many of us have knowingly created/unknowingly allowed/been handed down a long list of worthiness prerequisites:
- I’ll be worthy when I lose 20 pounds.
- I’ll be worthy if I can get pregnant.
- I’ll be worthy if I get/stay sober.
- I’ll be worthy if everyone thinks I’m a good parent.
- I’ll be worthy when I can make a living selling my art.
- I’ll be worthy if I can hold my marriage together.
- I’ll be worthy when I make partner.
- I’ll be worthy when my parents finally approve.
- I’ll be worthy if he calls back and asks me out.
- I’ll be worthy when I can do it all and look like I’m not even trying.
Here’s what’s truly at the heart of wholeheartedness: Worthy now. Not if. Not when. We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.”
I read this at the beginning and end of my class. And we chanted three oms to close class for 1) worthy now, 2) right this minute, 3) as is. After class I received feedback from some students that made me want to cry (in a beautiful but sad way) because this kind of worthiness is something that we all struggle with in our own way.
And here is the playlist to go along.
– “Talk” by Kodaline – amazing new band discovery
– “Unsteady” by X Ambassadors…love
– “Simple and Sweet” by Jon Bellion – he’s offering a download of his new album FREE
– “All I Want” by Ellie Goulding – a cover of my favorite song of 2014 by one of my favorite artists
Sending all of you worthiness, love and wishes for a good week.