Good morning. My eyes popped open at 5:30 a.m. and I couldn’t will myself back to sleep. I got up and made a pot of French press instead. It’s been months since I made coffee in the French press and I’m reminded how amazing it is! If you’re looking for a gift for the coffee lover in your life, a French press, coffee grinder and high-quality beans would be perfect!
I am also eating a smoothie bowl and sitting in front of the space heater so there is that. Oh and Good Morning America was just playing a clip of Mariah Carey singing Hero and I was taken way, way back. I was such a huge MC fan growing up.
I want to talk about something today that’s been on my heart since my mom sent me this video…the moments of choosing presence that we will never regret.
This video from Mother.ly brought tears to my eyes because it captures some of the sweetest and most tender moments of motherhood so well, and because I am so grateful to Finn for teaching me so much about stopping and choosing presence.
The advice that I have heard most often from friends, fellow moms and even complete strangers is “soak it up, it goes so fast/they grow so fast.” And, “you’ll never get this time back.” They are so right. Every day feels like such a gift and I have been consciously working to balance getting done what truly needs to be done with pausing and being in the moment I’m in.
I’ve also had so many people tell me, “you’ll never regret holding your baby” and “you can’t spoil a baby,” and a friend of mine recently shared a link to a study that holding infants can impact their DNA. The study found that, “The amount of close and comforting contact between infants and their caregivers can affect children at the molecular level, an effect detectable four years later.”
This same article talks a lot about epigenetics, which is a topic that I have thought about a lot…and harbored some guilt over to be honest. There is a lot of research emerging about the effects of maternal stress on baby when in utero and that they can be long-lasting.
“Human and animal studies have demonstrated that perturbations in early life, especially in the critical developmental window of intrauterine life, have programming effects on health outcomes in later life. A growing body of literature has also demonstrated that prenatal maternal stress (PNMS) can adversely impact a variety of developmental outcomes in the offspring throughout childhood that persist into adulthood.”
Here’s a link to the source of the above quote, and much more in-depth information can be found in the article/research study review.
Photo Wanda Koch
Mom guilt is real and I can go down the rabbit hole of worrying about all of the ways that I’ve already messed him up by being anxious, sad and stressed during a lot of my pregnancy OR I can choose to also believe that babies are resilient and focus on being the strongest, most present, most grounded version of myself for Finn NOW.
He is a fabulous motivation for finding happiness, peace and gratitude for what I have…no matter what that looks like. He is enough, and the love that we share is more than enough. There is nothing lacking.
Photo Amanda James
My mama intuition has told me to hold this baby as much as possible, feed him on demand, make eye contact with him, keep him close and make him my number one. Most everything else can wait.
What is the best or most memorable advice that you received as a new mom?
