Sometimes I am amazed by how the universe seems to deliver at just the right moment. When you don’t think you can take anymore and find yourself at your breaking point and then relief finally comes. I have had several people tell me to be “gentle with myself” over the past week. Blog readers, friends and then my yoga teacher. This idea of “gentle” really struck a chord with me and today’s yoga class really brought it home.
Let me set the stage. I’m not hiding the fact that it’s been a tough week for me. I feel like I had taken a big step forward and then Thanksgiving set me many steps back. I’ve felt really up and down this week and was definitely teetering at the breaking point when I made a significant mistake at work this morning. I instantly went into the mindset of blurting four-letter words and beating myself up for being irresponsible and not on top of things. I continued to dwell on the mistake I had made despite reassurance from my amazing and supportive team. I finally left for lunch with plans to go home and just take a nap. I wanted to hide and mope.
I arrived home and got this urge to go to a yoga class instead of going to bed. I ended up taking a power 2 class from a teacher that I rarely practice with and not at my home studio. I was brought to tears on my mat when at the beginning of practice, she spoke to us about the importance of being gentle with ourselves, forgiving mistakes and finding inner strength. She said that we always look to others to support us and make us feel better but our biggest supporter was sitting right there on our mats.
Throughout the challenging and different practice she continued to remind us to look for gentleness and strength in our practice, bodies and minds. After class I explained to the teacher what happened at work that morning and how much I needed her message today. I was a bit of a blubbering mess but when I walked out of that studio my day had totally turned around.
I don’t know what got me to that yoga class today but there is no question that it is exactly where I needed to be. I have a lot of work to do around the idea of gentleness and forgiveness with myself but today was a huge lesson for me about the power of negative self talk and how destructive it is.
How do you practice gentleness with yourself? Is it something you struggle with?
I arrived back at work feeling lighter and more at peace. I walked in my office and discovered a white box on my desk with this beautiful piece of cake on the inside. Almond cake with vanilla buttercream. A friend dropped it off for me after my disappointing cupcake experience yesterday. I am so lucky to have these people in my life.
Enjoy the weekend.