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Butterflies In My Belly

Oh my gahhhh…I spent the whole afternoon with major butterflies. My stomach hurt and I felt like I might throw up in the trash can at my desk at any moment.

The reason for all of this anxiety? Last week my yoga teachers asked if I would like to told me I had to teach my fellow teacher trainees for our Friday night practice. (One of them always leads the practice – never the trainees.) I even asked my teacher today if it was just an April Fool’s joke but no such luck.

I spent all week planning the class, making a playlist and going over everything my head again and again. I even practiced saying everything out loud in my car while I was driving. (Yes, I’m crazy…that’s how I learn BodyPump too!).

I know you’re probably thinking, “But you teach all the time.” and “You’ve already taught yoga at the Y, what’s the big deal?” The difference is that I’ve spent the last three months with this group learning how to be a yoga teacher. The difference is that my teacher was a participant. The difference is that it was my first studio class with heat and upbeat music and extremely talented yogis. And even though I know everyone wanted me to succeed, I put so much pressure on myself.

Clearly, I survived but it was really freaking hard. Even though I was carrying some doubt and anxiety, I just kept pushing and tried to stay as confident and upbeat as possible. The end result was really good feedback from my peers and teacher but it didn’t feel right to me. I know what if feels like when I’m really comfortable and connecting with my class and I want that so bad for my yoga classes…but unfortunately it’s just going to take time and experience.

There’s your daily dose of PBR reality. I can’t be great right out of the gate. I’m going to have to suck a little first. 😉

TODAY’S EATS

Breakfast was unpictured overnight oats at my desk after a hot vinyasa yoga class (I practiced this morning since I knew I’d be teaching this evening). I forced down this lunch.

Another peanut butter, banana and honey sandwich with TJs honey wheat pretzel sticks and a Passion Berry Kombucha.

I’m on a major kick with these right now – just can’t get enough!

Late dinner after teacher training.

I had a major veggie craving. TJs Masala burger over mixed greens with carrots, sundried tomatoes and avocados.

I could’t resist ice cream for dessert.

Vanilla ice cream with strawberries, chocolate syrup, toffee and coconut. Hot tea to warm me up!

And regarding the ice cream…I have had a revelation! I used to always buy the half the fat ice cream but after some serious label reading I decided to start buying the real stuff. While it does have a bit more calories and fat, it satisfies me so much more. You can just taste that the ingredients are all good and natural things. Yum! I have been converted to full fat ice cream. Don’t be scared!

Have a great weekend everyone!

{ 28 comments… add one }
  • 1
    Emily April 1, 2011, 11:23 pm

    Congrats on leading the class! I bet you did great! And I’m with you on the ice cream, full fat is the way to go. Better ingredients are always worth the extra cals 🙂

  • 2
    Becky April 2, 2011, 7:12 am

    The first time for something to important to you will always be nerve-wracking, but I bet you really were great! I can remember the first day of school when I had my own classroom. All these little faces were just staring up at me, waiting for me to make the next move. I felt so responsible and so darn scared! With time, it will feel more natural. And what a compliment to you that your teachers chose you to lead the class! They believe in you.

    • 3
      Jen April 2, 2011, 9:49 pm

      Thank you so much for the encouraging words!

      I can’t even imagine being responsible for teaching a classroom full of young children. I am always so awed and respectful of those who choose teaching as their profession!

  • 4
    lindsay cotter April 2, 2011, 7:15 am

    oh I wish I could have come to your class. I would have felt so comfortable, I’m sure! Each class is a new learning experience. You are right. take it all in.
    😉

    • 5
      Jen April 2, 2011, 9:52 pm

      I so wish I could teleport all of my blogging friends to my class. How fun would that be!?

  • 6
    Kristy@RunTheLongRoad April 2, 2011, 8:32 am

    Yikes, that is TOUGH! But next time it’ll be easier, and the time after that…a piece of cake. As with everything, practice makes perfect. You will be an amazing yoga teacher!

  • 7
    Nicole April 2, 2011, 9:14 am

    I’m sure you were better than you think. I wish I could have attended your class last night. I can’t wait until you have a class of your own!

    • 8
      Nicole April 2, 2011, 9:16 am

      PS: But I know how nerve-wracking it can be to do something like that in front of you peers AND worse, teacher!

    • 9
      Jen April 2, 2011, 9:53 pm

      Guess what!? That class of my own is starting on Wednesday! I’m taking over Celeste’s 7:15 on Wednesdays! 😀

  • 10
    Emma (Sweet Tooth Runner) April 2, 2011, 9:22 am

    New life dream: to attend a Peanut Butter Runner’s yoga class! You are going to be an absolutely AMAZING teacher, so don’t sweat it! 😀

    • 11
      Jen April 2, 2011, 9:53 pm

      I said this in my reply to Lindsay too but how fun would it be if I could teleport everyone in for a blogger yoga class!? 😉

  • 12
    natalie April 2, 2011, 9:44 am

    I bet you did great!! Understandable that you would be nervous though, but keep that chin up, it WILL get easier!

  • 13
    jennyv April 2, 2011, 9:51 am

    I think speaking the words out loud in your car is a fabulous idea — somehow playing it in your mind doesn’t do the trick!

    As for the full-fat ice cream … it’s a MUST! Too many ingredients in low-calorie/reduced fat types out there. Definitely full of TASTE 🙂

    • 14
      Jen April 2, 2011, 9:54 pm

      There’s something about actually saying the words that changes everything!

  • 15
    Christy April 2, 2011, 2:53 pm

    I’m sure with experience teaching a yoga class will be a breeze. I hope it all gets better.

    I have yet to try that Kombucha drink. I see everyone drinking it on their blogs, but I suppose I don’t understand what the big deal is.

  • 16
    Melissa April 2, 2011, 11:31 pm

    Congrats on your class. I bet it was nerve-wracking!

    I agree with you about the ice cream. I’ve come to the same realization about yogurt. I love greek yogurt, but I buy whole milk yogurt for my babes. The Stoneyfield whole milk yogurt is just amazing, and I can’t resist quite a few spoonfuls every morning 🙂 Everything in moderation, right?

    • 17
      Jen April 4, 2011, 12:04 pm

      YES! I totally agree on all thing in moderation! 🙂

      One of the reasons why I love Greek yogurt so much is because it is so thick and it feels like you’re eating full fat dairy!

  • 18
    Megan April 3, 2011, 7:46 am

    Yes! Full-fat ice cream is much more fulfilling in a small portion than the half fat stuff. Plus the ingredients are always much better looking. My recent favorite is Turkey Hill’s Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup.

    • 19
      Jen April 4, 2011, 12:04 pm

      Oh yum! I have never heard of that brand but I love peanut butter cup anything!

  • 20
    Brittney April 3, 2011, 7:51 am

    Great job teaching and I think you’ll be fine once you get a few more under your belt! I always buy full fat ice cream too. I especially like Breyers. There are usually only a few ingredients in theirs and it’s pretty natural and tastes great!

  • 21
    Meghan @ StruggleMuffins April 3, 2011, 9:07 pm

    Jen I can totally relate to your yoga-teaching anxiety! I’m in yoga teacher training as well and I have a few weekly classes of my own at this point, but I still get incredibly nerved up when I have to teach in front of other teachers or fellow teachers in training. I also get used to teaching by planning out my flows and reciting them over and over again in the car as I drove from place to place. Its funny the things you do to make yourself feel prepared and psychologically ready to tackle a challenge. Good luck with everything!

    • 22
      Jen April 4, 2011, 12:11 pm

      Meghan – I love that we both practice saying our flows in the car! 🙂

  • 23
    erin April 4, 2011, 8:11 am

    Congrats on leading the class! You have such passion for yoga, so it only makes sense that you would be nervous to do well. You’ll find your groove, and it will feel like second nature.

    And sign me up for the teleport!

    • 24
      Jen April 4, 2011, 12:10 pm

      Thank you, Erin! I’m ready for it to feel like second nature! 😉

  • 25
    Madison @ Espresso and Cream April 4, 2011, 1:58 pm

    I don’t have a clue how I am just now discovering your site! I’ve just spent way more time than I’d like to admit browsing through your posts and getting a bit of background. Can’t wait to follow along! 🙂

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